"Partners in crime", the lamest of lame expressions, but I can't think of a better way to describe my relationship with my mom, Ellie. Sometimes it felt like we were best friends rather than mother and daughter, until I called her a b**** in public and was dragged right out of that Forever 21. My mom was diagnosed with ALS in 2011 and chronicled her life until her final days through her blog, Have Some Decorum. In the 21 years we had together, my mom taught me how to spray tan, how to fake a heart attack, how to haggle at flea markets, but most importantly, she taught me to be a better person. To be strong, to be vulnerable, to be kind, to not take anything for granted, or as I used to say, granite. In this book, you'll find stories of me doing the wrong thing, some times the right thing and never a boring thing. Life's too short to be boring.