"I should've stayed, I should've stayed..." echoes in Janina's mind. Surrounded by the pulsating energy of a festival crowd, she stands frozen, receiving the news that changes her life forever.

Just a few months earlier, Janina found herself amidst the chaos of Raman's room, snorting an unknown drug from his desk. She couldn't believe that after nearly a decade of being a fan of his band, she was now in the circle everyone yearned to be part of. Yet for Janina, it wasn't Raman's popularity that drew her in. It was the deep, unsettling darkness in his soul, a sense of danger that both terrified and enticed her.

This is a story about searching for a way out of the dullness of human existence and chasing the thrilling rollercoasters on its flip side.

This story is not about Janina, it's about Raman.

"Astute observations about the nature of addiction." - Publishers Weekly

"A convincing depiction of one person's unhealthy pull on another." - Publishers Weekly